Healing From PTSD
Updated: Oct 1
Healing from PTSD has been a journey. The work I did to get to this point was intense and involved EMDR therapy, mindfulness therapy, lots of reading, communicating openly with the person I love (and feeling safe doing so), forgiveness, and finding unconditional love from God. The greatest of these healing paths was/is my relationship with God. Through my spirituality, I became whole again. It is possible.
I was brave - twice. I escaped (literally packed my belongings and never looked back) an abusive, raging Narcissist and I also broke my own heart to walk away from an avoidant love that would always leave me begging for scraps of emotional communication and affection - a world full of emotional distancing and withdrawal.
Afterwards, having survived a Narcissist, I suffered flashbacks, rumination, and nightmares; in addition, I felt emotionally depleted and exhausted after being with someone who routinely withheld love from me; people who have personality disorders are often referred to as emotional vampires and there's a lot of truth in that description.
I was never broken or fractured, and I realized in the most profound way that the people who hurt me were wounded human beings long before I met them. I was pursued, not because of my weaknesses, but because of my strengths - I am loving, thoughtful, empathetic, emotionally giving, smart and talented.
Today, I have a beautiful partner, an amazing family, and a really great life. I was targeted because of all the love and warmth I have in my heart - because I was, and still am, everything they were not. For everyone out there who has been in a relationship with a personality disordered partner, the takeaway is that someone with a personality disorder has no connection to their own behaviorial problems and never will. There is no therapy that can fix them. Leave as soon as you can and you will find a great life is waiting for you.